Featured Column: Last Call with Cohn
THE ART OF THROWING A HOUSE PARTY (RESPONSIBLY)
By Andrew Cohn - Email - MySpace
It's safe to say that throwing a house party can be a dicey
proposition. There are several risks one takes when attempting to entertain such a large group of people. Here are some tips and guidelines to help you throw a kick-ass house party while minimizing the damage to your home and psyche:
1. Make sure you buy enough alcohol. Remember, all the booze you
buy WILL be consumed by the end of the night. The general rule is that
the more booze you buy the more fun and rowdiness will ensue. This can
be a bit dangerous so make sure someone is monitoring the situation.
This is usually the responsibility of the host, so try not to get too
sauced. Just remember that nobody ever wakes up the next morning and
says, "God last night was fun! I was so sober! I'm sure glad that
party ran out of beer!"
2. Pay attention to who is at your party. The last thing you want
is the entire football team ransacking your kitchen. Keep an eye out
for under-age drinkers. You definitely don't want a group of high
school sophomores getting bombed for the first time on your watch. Be
careful of how many people you invite as well. Fliers may seem like a
good idea at first, but wait till you have half the city of Ann Arbor
in your two-bedroom efficiency and you'll see what I mean. Be sure to
keep an eye on your stuff, especially toward the end of the night.
Everybody has that one friend who gets drunk and turns into a
kleptomaniac so be sure to watch your food stash. There is nothing
more awkward that asking a complete stranger "Hey, where did you get
that box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?" Them fightin' words.
3. Don't be that host. A high-strung host will always suck the
life out of a party. None of that "shoes off at the door" crap. The
key is to be relaxed. And what's the best way to do that? Drink. This
way when your place is being destroyed you won't even notice. You may
even join in. How much should you drink? The key is to know your
limits. You don't want to end up face-first in your front lawn taking
a dirt nap, but you also want to be relaxed enough to enjoy yourself
without worrying about who's hanging from your ceiling fan. Just
remember that you have the home-field advantage, so have some fun.
4. The best parties are always impromptu. Sure a Pirate's of the
Caribbean theme party seems like a good idea, but pre-planned parties
often don't live up to the hype. When expectation levels are raised
it's much easier to be disappointed, just like in life. Usually the
best nights of partying are those which come together spontaneously.
Like the classic after-hours bash, otherwise known as the after-bar
party. This is the easiest type of party to throw because it requires
absolutely no imagination, and just a having ready access to alcohol
after 2am is enough. These parties can sometimes be the wildest
because everyone's usually pretty tore up prior to their arrival.
Typically these bashes start with someone slurring "I got some beer"
at the bar. You shouldn't have a shortage of guests. Booze available
after bar-time is twice as valuable. Expect overnight guests.
5. Be responsible. Nothing kills the vibe of a party like a
fight, the cops showing up or someone getting sick. Make sure to warn
your neighbors if you plan on throwing a real blowout, and invite them
over. Its proper edict and they will be less likely to call the cops
if they're ripping a beer bong on your back porch at 3am. And be sure
nobody drinks and drives; it's a sure way to spill your drink. But all
jokes aside, do whatever it takes to make sure everyone gets home
safe. Call cabs, offer your couch, steal car keys and do what ever it
takes. A good party is a safe party.
